I gotta get out of here, this place has nearly ruined my life. I dont know what im going to do or where im going to go, I just know I need to go. I cant get off this blue sh*t and no matter how hard I try and im constantly running out of everything else so its impossible to regulate it. I cant borrow the money and Ive got nothing left except my laptop and my PS2 which are not going. E only eft me $200 this time and has no idea when he will be back. Then Lo get paid $500 and its gone in a day. Yet somehow I only got 10-15 blue fairys and maybe a quarter and a half of the skunkie. If its being hoarded I really dont care because then I know its there and I dont need to worry about the ridiculousness of the fact that $700 was gone through in a day. Just doesnt seem possible to me especially when I dont even have enough to get me through tomm, on anything except what im prescribed. Thats at least 2 withdrawals one of which can be fatal. This has gotten so out of control so quickly, I wish I had never seen the stuff. I was happy with what I was doing and where I was going. Now I dont even know what im doing much less where Im going. Everything has been choas this last 6 months and I just want the whirlwind to end. I want to go back to being able to sleep without a million different things to take at night. I dont want to cry and feel depressed all day and then lay awake all night thinking about how tomm isnt going to be any better and most likely worse. Im really stuck on this $700 thing, nothing got paid, no bills that im aware of and if the stuff I need was the only stuff that it was spent on then it wouldnt be gone within 5 days. How can $700 be gone in five days and im out of everything already. Even if she got half an O at 200 and 20 blue fairys that still would have only been 400, plus perry would have been $520. So unless she is hiding it aware somewhere then there is money missing. Which annoys me a little because I always give her my cash right away, its not like I don't know where its going but coming down to this where I dont have what I really need and there was not nearly enough bought even with the $200 I gave her.... At the very least it should have been a quarter and 10 fairys its only Fri and im out of fairys and no trees and she says shes broke. If she doesnt come through for me tonight I really am going to wonder what the hell is going on. Its one thing to not say what you have and just take care of things, its another thing to not say anything and act like im just going to be SOL. Very rarely does she not come through for me and she is usually still waiting on calls even when she gets home late at night.
If my account werent negative I could just ask Ed to put in like $50. I dont even know when he is coming back and im suppose to have a doc appt Tues which is $60 I dont have. I guess I could have him deposit it into one of the other two banks but both those accounts have both our names on them and the only one I have an ATM card for that he could deposit with is HSBC. I dont know if there are any branches up there though. I guess he could wire directly from his to mine. Not on a Sunday though so I have to make it through tomm. Then I can ask him to put in the cash Monday for the doctors appt Tues. We shall see.
If my account werent negative I could just ask Ed to put in like $50. I dont even know when he is coming back and im suppose to have a doc appt Tues which is $60 I dont have. I guess I could have him deposit it into one of the other two banks but both those accounts have both our names on them and the only one I have an ATM card for that he could deposit with is HSBC. I dont know if there are any branches up there though. I guess he could wire directly from his to mine. Not on a Sunday though so I have to make it through tomm. Then I can ask him to put in the cash Monday for the doctors appt Tues. We shall see.
