Ready to pull my hair out

So Lo and I are leaving in like four days to go to MI, hopefully we will catch the birth of my god-daughter. We were going to leave on sun night but Ed decided to stay in town for the space shuttle launch and got us security clearence to go up to the press box for launch. Even though im not a huge space fan this is really a rare chance so we are going then i guess continuing on to MI from there. Really not looking forward to another 24 hour drive but i am looking forward to being there. Im not sure yet if im telling any of my family other than Dorrie that im coming in. That just adds a whole nother set of obligations.
Im getting antsy to leave, things with Ed havent been great either and I know that isnt helping. Ive been generally short tempered lately, worse than I normally am which is really bad for me. I know ive taken it out on both Ed and Lo and its not fair to them. Lo is a hell of alot more understanding then Ed on that. After we leave on Tues it will be two weeks before I see Ed again. I think this is a good thing, I need some air and I need to figure out a plan of action for myself. I need to start something or get a job, anything to keep me busy, boredom is avery dangerous thing for me. Ive learned that lesson on more than one occassion recently and it picking me up some bad habits, like i need anymore.

so frustrated

Soo Ed says he is flying into ft lauderdale last night, i had to be down there with Lo so I suggested that we get drinks or something at this really good Irish place near the airport. He says ok, great. Then this morning he says something about eating off of glades. I said what happened to the Field... he says that Glades is closer to where he needs to go so... Rather than argue I just said ok whatever. So then today I am waiting around to go see him and end up getting coffee with Eric. He lands and texts me that he had a bad flight etc then his next text is hading up now, see you soon. After already being agitated from the day, the doc was his usual helpful self and im just sick of it. Rather than texting something nasty and potentially setting him off I just didnt text him. He called me and acted like I should have known exactly where we were going and what was going on. I kind of went off on him and didnt understand why he couldnt just tell me where he was and how to get there. It just didnt go well and we hardly said two words by the time we left the restuarant. Not only was he not where he said to go but he left the second place he told me to go and went to a third. I dont understand why we didnt just go to the field like i suggested in the first place. He never sticks to what he says he is going to do and it drives me nuts, whether its changing restuarants or saying hes getting something for dinner and comes home with something completely different, or when i ask him to pick something up and he gets whatever he thinks is equivalent or better.

I need to chill or this will be a long week.

Where has all the happieness gone?

Damn I really hate computers sometimes, this is the second time I had a pretty lengthy post and accidentally hit back or something stupid like that. Once again I dont feel like going over all of it again. Oh well. The point was im miserable and looking for something to help soothe that a bit, regardless of consequences.