Over The Line

So I went to G's house to work on the survey thing for E's job, he decided that he was going to call G and find out what else needed to be done and what the next steps were. G said he didn't know when the next meeting was going to be taking place. G assumed that he was talking about the three of us, him and Sherri and I. So he said he didn't know, that nothing was planned and didn't mention the fact that I was coming down there or actually at the time, was on my way there. So E read into that and decided that I was lying to him. He called me and said that he was "chewing the fat" with G and that G never mentioned me coming down there or working on anything that had to do with the project. He said that it wasn't a good idea to be lying to him and that I set the ground rules or some sh*t like that. I was pissed that he would involve my friends in order for him to check on me.
So I went about my business, G, his roommate and I went to lunch, then to publix then we went back to his condo and started to work on the surveys. We went to a site aimed at designing surveys and started working on putting the survey together, had a little help from a survey that Barry was already doing on their food service. G wanted me to stay and said that I needed to relax but I already knew that E was going to be pissed because the last contact we had was the phone call about not lying to him. I finally extricated myself from the house and started for home.
When I got home, E was not home and I just changed into something more comfortable and turned on the TV. I'm not sure how much later he came home but when he did I could tell right away that something was not right. I went to go talk to him, saying his name as I went and he suddenly turned around and flipped out on me. He was saying that I was a liar and calling me every name in the book in the process, he proceeded to grab my throat, I guess to make his point better and get right in my face saying that I needed to get out of his house now. He pushed me face in a half smack, half punch and grabbed my throat at least two more times. He was absolutely crazy, I couldn't even believe he put his hands on me much less trying to ring my neck. I was in shock and couldn't do much to defend myself seeing as how he refused to believe me and was convinced that I could get anyone I could use as proof to lie to him and just tell him that i was there. I couldn't even get out of him what it was that I was supposedly lying about. He just kept saying I was a lying b*tch and whatever other names he could possibly say and getting in my face. He pushed me around a little bit after the choking and face hit. By that time though I was getting so angry I couldn't see straight. I couldn't believe this was happening and I really did absolutely nothing wrong. The one man I was suppose to trust in my life had just shattered that all to hell. Especially after the last couple weeks and the fights we had and the promises of not ever getting verbally abusive again. I should have known, especially with my background in psychology that eventually it would escalate and that he would never be able to change that many years of obviously getting what he wanted by acting like that.
Finally he said that I was lying about going to G's and that really I went to spend the day with Lo. Lo was in Orlando visiting with her new girlfriend K and had no idea what was going on. I couldn't believe that was what the whole thing was about, and there wasn't even any proof, only the fact that G didn't say that I was coming down there to work on the survey that day. When I first talked to him on the phone when he said it was a bad idea to lie to him, I thought he was pissed because he didn't think I was going there to work on the survey and that I was just going there to get away from him. I call G because I didn't know who else to call and he couldn't believe that this was happening. He told his roommate what happened then told me that I needed to get out of the house and call the cops and let them handle it. I don't know why I didn't, I guess because that's what E said to do too and I was thinking that he was going to be able to turn it around on me somehow. I hardly did any damage to him considering the size difference but I pushed him around too after he was done pushing me around. Mainly because i was so angry at what was going on. I tried calling Lo in the meantime but she didn't answer the phone. I spent a lot of time after that trying to convince him that I wasn't lying and that I was where I said I was, doing what I said I went there to do. He refused to accept anything I said and was acting completely irrationally. Insisting we were completely over and that he wasn't going to let anyone play him like he was stupid or take advantage of him like that. I didn't even know what to say, what could I say? I didn't do anything wrong and he didn't want any proof of that, not that he would have accepted it anyway.
It was a pretty vicious night I kept telling him how ridiculous it all was that he had no proof I did anything wrong and that his logic didn't even make sense. He seemed to calm down finally and though it had nothing to do with me and he was still convinced I was lying and still acting like he hated me it was at least better then the violence from before. Im sure by that time the alcohol was making him tired. He was going to leave and get coffee earlier but I took his glasses because I was so p*ssed at him so eventually he gave up and got ready for bed and turned off the light and got in bed telling me to leave him alone and go watch TV or something. I was done arguing with him and he obviously wasn't going to listen to anything I had enough of the whole fighting yelling and defending myself when it obviously wasn't working. Finally I left the stupid glasses and just walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me.
Eventually Lo came home and she took pictures of all the marks and the cut on my throat the chain I had been wearing left from him squuezing my neck so hard. We stayed up for awhile talking about everything and then got tired and we decided to go to bed. E came out not to long after and said something about going to sleep with my girlfriend so I went back in the room and started yelling at him and telling him what a piece of sh*t he was and how nothing made sense and I pointed out all the wrong things he had done to people and the life's he had messed up, how he wasn't even a real man because he had to hide behind his attitude and now his physical abuse. I just brought up anything and everything to make him feel as crappy as I did. I turned the room light on and told him there was no way he was getting any sleep tonight, I poured a little bit of water on his head to make my point. To my surprise the whole time I was bashing him he didn't say anything, he pretty much just listened, or pretended to anyway. Finally he said something that made me really upset and I dumped the whole bottle of water on his head and walked out of the room. He was getting up and changing when I walked out of the room and I just came out to the living room and just laid on the couch. After awhile E came out to the living room where I awake but suppose to be sleeping. He came out and asked if I was sleeping out there, I said this is where you told me to sleep. Finally he said come on, I really didn't know how to respond so I just grabbed my pillow and went into the bedroom. He was like a totally different person again, like he could not believe what he had done, I hardly knew what to say myself. He was almost acting like nothing had happened. It could have been the bottle of water i poured on his head. Im surprised he didn't flip out on me then. So I went in and asked what the hell happened and he just said he couldnt sleep without me. I ended up falling asleep and the next day he was apologetic and upset, brought me a card and flowers, saying if what I said was true he was completely in the wrong, to which I said he was completely in the wrong anyway. So that pretty much brings us to where we are now, he is upset about it, he says, but is not nearly as remorseful as I think he should be. Its only been a couple days, so I guess I will have to wait and see what happens. I know I shouldn't even be waiting, I should just take this as a big sign that things are never going to change and leave.

Its definitely given me a whole new perspective on abused women and why it is they stay with their abuser even though the obvious solution is to leave... I feel stupid for being in the situation when I used to criticize those in the same position im in now for not leaving... Completely different when the shoe is on the other foot.