The End

Such mixed emotions, I am finally free from that devil on my shoulder and yet now I have to face the fact that im left with nothing. Ive lost my best friend, I am on my own and dont even know where to start. I guess I could look at it as a new lease on life but right now I know I still have alot of healing to do. Ive done this with no support and I know its made me a stronger and smarter person, I just wish I had someone to share that with. I've had a tough time with being alone all the time and the only human voices i've heard in almost a week are on the TV. I've takin to talkin to the cats. I don't know when I've ever been this alone, im trying to take what solace I can from what I have accomplished but its hard when the harshness of reality sets in. Im not meant to be alone like this, some people like to be alone and dont get me wrong I like my solace but I feel like im going crazy here. Any friends I have, are at least an hour away and its just as sad when I have to leave.

I know time will heal a lot but right now it hurts like hell to be in this situation, and i've never been one for patience. I need to find a good support system and try to find my true friends in life. It sucks to learn things the hard way but once you've learned the lesson all you have to do is go to bed and wake up and let the time pass hopefully healing a little bit everyday. Thats what im trying to do, I just want to get as much time between me and this situation as possible. I have a lot of choices to make and deciding to pry this devil off me was just the beginning in what I have a feeling is going to be a line of decisions that may or may not determine the course of my life, then again I guess every decision plays a part in what the course of the rest of your life will be. I've made a long string of bad decisions and im hoping that is the end of that streak and I can start getting some good Karma back.