Super Bowl night, Giants won, good game to watch. Ed has been here since Tues. Remarkably we havent fought since he got here. We have been getting along well despite me feeling so short tempered. I take it out on Lo which isnt fair. Its hard on her when he is here but I feel obligation to Ed when he is here and I know he feels that way too. I have no idea where things are with Lo, she seems so upset all the time. I know it bothers her when I disappear with Ed, I feel bad and hate feeling like I am in the middle.
On a meds note, the 30Mg Xr is working well for me but I am starting to feel that nagging restlessness again too. At least I have something to do to keep me busy so im not stewing in my head to much. I dont like the added short temper though, I feel like I need to just be left alone until it gets out of me. The klonopin helps a little with the come down but barely. I havent taken any xanax for awhile, i really dont want to start that because I see the likliehood of dependence as very high. At least with ed here I havent been doing any of the other stupid habits that I seem to have picked up lately. I am smoking more, I dont know why but its become a compulsion of sorts. I am definetely not going back to cigarettes. Its getting expensive though. We'll see what the doc says I guess.
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