Two more days till Ed goes home, he hasnt been here much in the day but we have been together every night. I have no idea where we are and from my point of view things are just a little different, im not sure if in a good way or bad. The whole family christmas thing is not going to work out and I should be upset about it but im really not. He put it off till the last minute and now its just not going to happen, coordinating flights this late is nearly impossible. I dont know if I should just go without him or what but I cant imagine spending all that time there by myself. Lo has to be back to work two days after christmas I think, the problem was we couldnt get a flight out until christmas day cause she had to work the day before.
The other side of that was that really the whole reason we were trying to coordinate it is because I dont want to fly and I definetely dont want to fly alone. Grandmas gonna be pissed im sure, I will have to make up something good to make up for this one. Ed said we could take a few days in the next couple weeks and go but I doubt that would end up happening either. I cant believe how much of a let down he can be sometimes. He keeps asking Lo what to get me for christmas but I really dont want anything. I want to be able to get things for at least Lo and my sisters. Plus I cant get him anything so it would just make me feel worse if he got something for me. I just want to be able to cover everything right now, I hate that feeling of scraping.
I hate the holidays
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