another me moment

so we go out dinner and there is the culprit staring me in the face. Alcohol always seems to be my thing with him. we go out and I cant wait to get my first drink, actually anything we do I cant wait to drink, the problem is I always get to talkative and then end up creating more problems for myself then I started with. Pretty much no matter how you cut it I am unhappy with him. He is so involved in his world and he makes me feel that I am crazy and that he has to put in so much work just to manage me. I am tired of feeling like a burden. If he doesnt think he can handle me then he should just say so and let this go. I cry for hours and yet he still has no idea why. I cant even be who I want to be around him, it doesnt help that he falls asleep why I am sobbing.
I feel so alone and I dont know what to do, can't turn to him and cant blame Lo for not wanting to hear it. She is in her own kind of hell and if I were her I would cry myself to sleep every night. He doesnt undertand and he wont I dont think. I cant handle this pressure, I am losing my best friend and my signifigant other and my world all in one.
He said tonight that he wanted all the rent, that wanted to manage his own money and of course I felt the sting immediately. It couldnt have been more obvious if he flat out said I want to know where the money is going and why. It was just a slap in the face. I guess that was a pretty obvious show of what he thought of me and my money managing ideas in general. He knows that I have no income, how nice of him to take away the little he knows I have and make me ask for whatever I need. I just want out of the situation now, I am only now realizing how stressed and anxious its making me.
I could easily fall asleep on the couch but im afraid Ed might wake up and find me and then that could open a whole can of worms that I would rather stay away from. My whole goal while he is here is to stay away from the conflict and make it as peaceful a visit as possible. If he doesnt want me to show emotion then I wont and he will have no clue as to how I truly feel. Maybe he doesnt want one, I miss my life and my friends. I need to become self sufficient and autonomous, the more I can do for myself the better, he has just proved the ridiculous of trusting anyone other than those you feel you can.